Saturn returns are like the movie Twister…

Saturn returns are like the final tornado scene in the cult classic Twister—when Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton are tied to that pipe, hanging on for dear life.

Debris is flying everywhere, mud is slinging, the barn they're in is being torn to shreds. They are literally in the middle of a big boy F5 tornado.

That's your Saturn Return.

You spend so much time in it, running from it, debris smacking you in the head along the way. We hear about Saturn Return and it comes with the stigma to just "survive it." Then once you do, you thank your lucky stars that it's over and go back to doing the same sh*t you were doing before.

And it's like, well what the hell was all that for then??

When the twister dissipates, your body finally relaxes. The winds slow down, the clouds part, and you see sun again. But you're still tied to the damn pipe, covered in mud, and not all of us have Bill Paxton to kiss us and make it all better.

Real talk though? The post-Saturn Return phase is never talked about, and it's honestly where the biggest shifts can happen. At least, that was the case for me. I was so depressed and clouded during my return (and in frickin’ grad school) that I couldn't make a single decision. ESPECIALLY the big picture, change your entire life type of decision.

Saturn isn't going to apologize for tearing your barn to the ground and flinging cows past your car window. It's gonna turn around on its way out, look you in the eye and say "so how you planning on cleaning up this mess?" and dip out.

I know you're not gonna love me for this, but when Saturn struts away, you have a big decision to make. Are you going to rebuild a barn on top of the debris and hope it turns out exactly like before? Or are you going to methodically clean up each piece and build on a new, solid foundation? You could even build something completely different. Leave the barn life in the past, babe.

These decisions are scary as hell because you're mourning the death of your pre-Saturn Return self, everything you've ever known and relied on. That's terrifying even for people who take the risk and go for it. But I'm telling you—building a new barn on top of debris obviously isn't going to hold. It's gonna come crashing down and likely during your Saturn square. That's a story for another time, my friend.

I created my Saturn Return reading framework because I wish I'd had this when I was going through mine. I wish someone had compared it to the cult classic Twister, then it all would have made sense.

My 3-Phase Framework covers every angle of your Saturn Return: the prep, the chaos, and the glow-up (that post-SR phase I told you about). It doesn't matter whether you've been through your Saturn Return yet or not, this reading covers the biggest shift you'll experience in life. And here's something you might not know: you get another Saturn Return in your 50s. If you missed your chance to course correct in the first one, the second won't be nearly as forgiving.

If you're ready to experience the glow-up or want to prepare yourself for the storm, head to THIS LINK to get the details on my Saturn Return offering…it's a wonder of nature, baby!